so...

THAT phase is over
thank god i didnt know how to react to having a possibility of an actual relationship
ha-ha-ha
also mills has fucked up again/still/whatever
so uhhh it looks like i wont be going to ups... idk ill call them tomorrow

and all i really want right now is an orgasm and a bowl of ice cream
i feel like that should be a line in a song


i havent been sleeping well/atall
i accomplished a whole lot and then spent two days doing nothing
im broke
i still have to buy almost all of my xmas presents... but i have a paycheck friday

im so terribly lonely
but maybe i might have a friend to hang out with in january for a week or so
which could be lovely
if it actually happens



other than that and the sliver of a hope that ill be away in a month... and this thing that is happening wednesday which will probably end up making me more depressed with the ever so slight possibility of making me infinitely happy...
im just not sure what to keep holding on for... not that anything changes when you stop holding on... ive done it before... you just end up sitting on your ass for awhile watching the world swirl around you feeling just as pointless as before and then a ribbon goes past you and you hold on and at least you are DOING something... even if it doesnt matter either

and no this isnt a depressed rant... no matter how it seems to read...

speaking of im going to go read and hope to god i sleep