stop fucking judging me

i know inever update
i know im seeing a guy who doesnt appreciate me enough/at all but i do it anyways
i know he sees his ex too and it drives me up a fucking wall knowing it but i continue anyways
i know i may move into an apartment when i dont have a job at the moment
i know i super fail at trying to get a job (but i AM trying)
i know i drink at home alone and get drunk off a beer and whatever
i know i have a profile on a sugar daddy website and i may meet them and especially if its the 25 year old cutie from georgia offering 3-5k a month
i know i still dont have any of my financial aid infomration and may have to drop out of i cant afford it
i know i take too many baths and there is a knot in my hair and it pisses me off
i know i mumble and my phone makes a weird buzzing noise and my vchat is weird and pixelated and it makes it hard to talk to me

but fuck it all im happy! and i have a few incredible friends that love me inspite of it
and quite frankly i know its all about to fall to pieces but let me just try to duct tape it up one more time?