overs and unders

i am over (as in doing too much of these things):
thinking
analyzing
projecting
hoping
worrying
planning
missing people
watching tv

i am under (as in not doing these enough):
acting on plans
hoping
laughing
prepared
slept


i am over (as in done with these things... or trying to be):
my job
guys
people in general
this whole mess with my house and if its mine or not



decisions i have made after realizing these things:
the house is mine, until my sister moves in... and then... it's like i sold or rented it. so... when she moves out eventually... that's what i will do. no more clinging to these things anymore
i will sell the washer/dryer/couch/tv/recliners/dining room sets and put the money in a cd or something for college etc
i will keep the car and learn how to drive a damn stick shift
i dropped my early am. lit class
im going to try to get a job at barnes and noble or borders or something... something where i am a little bit happier...
im going on an anti guy binge... wlel not ANTI guy just.. no romanticalness until next semester. thats it. the end. because i keep fluxing things up. and i really need more perspective. and while i havent been swimming in guys, ive been thinking about them and pursueing them, even if they are unaware or uninterested. and really i just need to stop
im applying to berkeley... its one of the few places where i can walk around by myself and just be and not worry about other people or be lonely...


ok sleep time now, i have work at 830 so i wake up at 730/8 and its nearly 3 and i have class too tomorrow... bleh