oh dear... ramblerambleramble

so i have a little dilemma

there is this guy T2 (T1 is like my best guy friend... hes crazy funny and so smart and he was the one mentioned in previous posts)... i like him.. always have, even when i was dating my ex... (we were together for two years). so this year... i went to a college i hated and was looking around at places to transfer, and was recommended the college he goes to by a few people, so i emailed him and we started chatting again... sort of flirty but never obviously... then over spring break he took me on a lunch date and we sat there for like two hours after just talking... hes really funny and smart and... i really just enjoy his company... 

so this summer... (after a lot of things that i dont want to get into but they may cause some issues down the road but im hoping they dont) he and i hooked up... a few times... all after drinking at a kickback at his house... weve never really discussed what happened, but we have an unspoken agreement that... if were hanging out together... and the occasion presents itself... why not? since our most recent hookup... he was kind of awkward though... i mean... not SUPER awkward... and maybe not all his fault... we were at another party a few nights later... and that was just an awkward party in general and he was chattng with people that dont like me so i sort of stayed away and then he left randomly in the middle of the party... like wtf? and i havent heard from him since... so... i took that as a sign he was awkward with me and was backing off... knowing that i legitimately like this guy as a friend as well as being attracted to him... hoping that that could save whatever friendship

so last night i randomly ended up with his sunglasses in my car... he didnt hang out with us but someone who had his sunglasses was with us and left them in my car... anyways i was writing on his facebook wall via facebook mobile at work about it and this guy, S, i used to be interested in but got sick of his on-again off-again personality... keeps texting me... interrupting me every time im about to send the comment to T2...  and theyre all like... about how he wants to hang out with me when he gets home from cali tomorrow... and it was like heh awkward... but it got worse... so T2 stopped bymy office this afternoon to pick up his sunglasses on his way to a movie with a (male)friend of his... and as im walking towards him i get a text from S... saying something about how he cant wait to see me... 

Now the thing is... i like T2... but... I can't figure out if he would want to move things further... im not talking like... full blown relationship... but like... dating... like going on dates dating... and if he doesnt... im sorry beni-friends is not really my thing... i love being a girlfriend and like... rubbing my guys back and baking for him and buying cute little outfits and looking pretty for him... and if S wants to date me... and T2 doesn't... I think I'd go with S... even though I like T2 waaay more... 

This is way too much... one of the main reasons I dislike being single...

on a completely unrelated note though:

i had had this plan... to be a hermit ALL week... i figured this could accomplish lots of things, i would clean and catch up on sleep, all of the things my group of friends does that were getting old (like hookah and ice cream, which is a pretty standard outing for everyone i hang out with... its fun but...) would have novelty again at least to a degree, and also... by making myself unavailable, i make myself a hotter commodity... i noticed this in a few of my friends... the harder they are to get ahold of and hang out with the more everyone wants to... so... i made myself less available

by wednesday i had so many plans its not even funny ha

i had to break my word because a good friend of mine has been on vacation and is home for two days before going out again...

so now my schedule for the next two weeks (other than work) tonight: dinner with M and her boyfriend and T1, tomorrow is empty but S really wanted to hang out so... Saturday clubbing with M and K, Thursday wax and hair appointment and then the Dark Knight premier... I still need people to go with for that... slash i have friends going to two different theatres and i need to figure out which theatre to buy my ticket at... T2 is a HUGE fan and is going to the imax...  i have a feeling if i can get to his house at some point this week for another party... i can get invited to that ha... and then friday night im having a kickback at my house... and saturday... if i can get ahold of this guy, im going to a bb king concert... 

so two days of being a hermit worked wonders i guess